Thank you for being caring, and being so good,
For being understanding, and of course, for the food,
“Wow, she loves cooking”, that’s what I said from the start,
But you did not only filled my belly, but my soul, and my heart.

Thank you for the laughter,  and the jokes that you tell,
And thank you for catching me, my heart, when it fell,
Thank you for renewing me, my trust up above,
And most importantly, thank you, for teaching me how to love.

Thank you for your advices, and thanks for listening,
Thanks for being there, every time I need guiding,
You are my strength, my light, and my reason,
Thanks for being someone that I can always rely on.

Thank you for accepting me, for the who, not the what,
And thank you for seeing me as the what, not the not,
Thank you for staying, despite my faults, though I lack,
But only say the word, and I shall clean up my act.

Thank you for your stories, and your life that you share,
For exerting real effort, for the time that you spare,
Thank you for believing, for the trust that you gave,
For our promise, forever, unbroken, this bond that we have.

Thank you, and thank you, again, and once more,
I will never tire of thanking you, though I’ve thanked you before,
All I have are thank you’s, and nothing to give,
But my everlasting love, and this life that I live.

Salamat, Agyamanak, for everything,  that is,
Shokran, Danke, with a hug, and a kiss,
Thank You, Merci Beacoup, for being so fine,
But most of all Gracias, thanks for being mine.

(dedicated to my one and only love, Juna Marie Hervilla. Happy 2nd Monthsary babe.  Thank you, thank you, I love you, I love you, Two Months down, an Eternity to go) 

Our Daily Bread goes:
What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

 A very funny and not so inspiring message to see when you are aching for strength beneath your pains and sufferings. A foreboding message to hear whilst being stricken by an illness.

However, take this not as a warning but as a reminder. Take this as a reminder of God’s LOVE for us. Our lives are in His hands and He can take it anytime He wants yet He does not. Let this be a reason to be grateful every day. For each day is a new gift given to us by God.

Additionally, take this not as discouragement but as a challenge. Take this as a challenge to live to your fullest. They say LIFE IS SHORT. A famous phrase goes YOLO (YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE), so why not make the most of it.

We are but a mist, but we can be more than just a mist.

Be the mist that comforts the weary.
Be the mist that nourishes the thirsty.
Be the mist that cools the heat of sin.
Be the mist that quenches the fire of evil.
and above all
Be a mist for God. 

So i’ve read somewhere that writing things (aka venting out steam) is very helpful towards your health. This phenomenon is called Catharsis, literally to be cleansed. And on hindsight, I might have just proven its effectiveness a million times during my lifetime. And its contrary these last few weeks, when I have been silent about things bothering me, and see what happened to my health.

The article I read said: “Catharsis is beneficial only when writing for the sheer reason of expressing your feelings. It is not recommended for your writings to be in public for this may cause you to write thinking how your readers will react.”
I say:”FUCK YOU READER!!!!”

This is my page. I am writing for me. If you do not think what you are about to read is  worth reading (and I never intended it to be worth reading) then just shut the fuck up and leave. I never asked you to read this in the first place.

Catharsis… catharsis…
Catharsis…
Memory lane…
Eyes closed, tuch typing. probably hunderds of typoes by now. just voicing out what my mind remembers.

i just love it when everytime you call upon me. little things. small things. that for me means hugley. you trust me. you choose my company above anyone else.. unless of course i was the last one you asked…
thoes lttle hours that im with you still feels magical… if not dissapointing and paingful at times
reembering what has been before
i have always wanted to ask you what the hell happened back then
but i am alwaus afraid what youre gonna sau

IT IS MY FUCKING FAULT i know
but i do not know where to start. i find it hard to apologixe in front of you. i find it hard to apolifixe face to face. i just find it hard…

i find it hard or eveytime i still question myslef. what was that before? what was that before i fucked it all uo?? mamu of our frimeds would ask me. what is it between you and her? and i would say nothing, absolutely nothing. for i dont want to assume. now i wonder what was it for you.

i am terribly sorry. now i wonder if youd ever forgive me. now i wonder if you are the same girl i fell in love with. sometimes i feel as if tou are sjut toying ith me lately. i cant blame you. sweet sweet revenge is awesome. 

i love it whenever tou call upon me. i hate whenever you ignore m e. i love it whenever you confirm my existence. i hate it when im just nobody.

who are you lady? whoare you? who am i? who ere we? who are we now?
fuck… first time ko mafeslos sa bading

hahaha. natatawa ako ngayong. my eyes hurts like hell„ my musckles screaming in agony. im expecting hundreds of typoes. i never was  atoucy typistys.

 u just want to type. tto shout, to voice out what my minds beenm screaming at me. i don not want to see i don nmot want to rememver u do not want to look at my patheticness

catharsis cataharsis catharsis

i crave release
i crace attention
i crave companionship

my greatest problem is that i never learned how to ask for help.
i never learned how to fully trust somebody. the few times i had, they only left me in ruins.

catharsis catharsis
TUMBLR, facebook, twitter, my only friends whod listen to me
and im not even sure anymore
TUmblr has its followers
facebook has its friends

and twitter has its judging bastards

save from devolving back to pen and paper, there is no private plac naymore

save from devolving back to a lone pack there is no being alone anymore

and that kust makes it more sad
I AM NOT ALONE
goddamnit i have 600+facebook friends

double digit followers

tons of groups, of barkadas, of guilds, of clans, of teams

literally millions of people around me
but none

none none

catharsis

catharsis catharsis 

that sad moment when you have many friends but you don’t know who your friends are.